Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Good Morning

Just sitting down to breakfast and writing a quick note before work.

Got some writing done this weekend. Spent a lot of time resting. I'm doing a little better physically, but it's slow going. Ugh. I'm hoping I will have improved enough by tomorrow not to have to call the doctor and ask to switch prescriptions. I SO do not want to get pneumonia again. It is actually one of my goals in life (remember, I was setting goals -- this is on it) Never get pneumonia again. My current boss is one of those people who has *never* been sick for more than a day or so in his life. A cold, maybe. Or, he actually got the chicken pox a couple of weeks ago. (A mild case). Do you have any idea how envious I am of that?

Ah well, HE doesn't get to write books. :)

Writing went well this weekend. Making progress. Cathy tends to write very close to a finished product with her draft. I work differently than that (which is partly why it's slower). I draft out a skeleton and then flesh it out during re-writes and edits. It seems that if I don't get the plot laid out very fast my characters wander off in all sorts of interesting but unprofitable directions and I lose the thread of the story.

Anyway, Cathy sent me the first chapter of the next book. It's VERY good! But we both have been bemoaning the fact that third person is just *different* and harder for us to write because we're not getting *into* the character's head as much.

An acquaintance of mine, Jay, is pondering writing a book. He's been pondering it for a while. I hope he does it. But I understand it's hard. Life keeps getting in the way -- along with all the psychological *stuff* (Fear of success/fear of failure, feelings of inadequacy,), and the actual mechanical difficulties of putting ideas into coherent thought, and thoughts into words, and words onto the actual paper.

Well, I have two minutes to finish my breakfast and start working. I'll talk to y'all later. Hope you had a great holiday (those of you in the US), and those of you who aren't -- hope you had a great few days.



Sunday, May 29, 2005

Happy Holiday

Hope everybody is having a good time over the long weekend. I'm taking it VERY easy. Mostly sleeping due to the Rxs. Got a little writing done though, which is a good thing.

Happy news! We've gotten a couple of reviews now of the mystery anthology, "Secrets" (the one with the contest to guess which stories are fact and which ones fiction). ANYWAY, in both of them, my story got singled out for really great praise! (YIPPEE)

"The Apple Doesn't Fall...." is a standout short mystery, complete with a riveting plot and well-drawn characters. You'll be motivated to see what else author C.T. Adams has written, and good news: there is a backlist.

Reviewed by Jamie Engle

ALSO,we received a bookkeeping sheet for the sales of Hunter's Moon through December and (DRUM ROLL) WE EARNED THROUGH!!!!! IN ONE MONTH!!!!! WHOOO HOOO!!!!!

OK time for some major attagirls! Which is really a good thing because since I've been feeling lousy physically I've been feeling bad about my writing. I'm really SO much slower than Cathy. AND we're doing these two in third person which is just hard for me. But perseverence is a BIG thing, and I will just KEEP plugging.

I do think that if we haven't contracted for a bunch when we get these three done I may go back to one of the mysteries I was writing. I would like for us to have books in more than just the paranormal romance section -- although that really is my first love.

We'll have to see.

In the meantime, I'm trying to get my act together and (a) write and (b) get things organized to buy the house and get my finances straightened out. Wish me luck! Who knows, I haven't checked my lottery ticket -- I may just be a multi-millionairess and not know. (LOL)

Later guys!


Friday, May 27, 2005


Hi guys! Hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend. I'm spending most of it in bed. Bronchitis it is. Sigh. Went to the doctor and got serious antibiotics and cough medicine to prevent it from going into pneumonia.

I also need to apologize to my (hopefully infinitely patient) co-author. She's been getting the short end of the stick for a bit now and I said something that I didn't mean to sound snarky that probably did. UGH! I REALLY need to work on my social skills. It doesn't help that when I don't feel good I have NO edit function whatsoever. It's just a saw something in the ARC that made me panic. One of those stupid little things that really don't matter but drive you nuts because no matter how many times a book goes through editing you are NEVER going to catch them all.

For the record, Cathy is the best. Not only is she a really cool lady, she's incredibly talented as a writer and a genius when it comes to marketing. But aside from all the partnership stuff, she's one of my favorite people on the planet.

ANYWAY, she has developed a really cool subplot for Captive Moon, the book that is coming along very nicely and is up next on deadlines. Right now my goal is to STAY OUT OF THE WAY while she does her thing and MOVE MY FANNY on Catherine because I just DO write more slowly than she does. It's not time to panic -- YET -- but I need to not waste any more time!

So, with that in mind, I'm signing off, taking my meds and going to bed so that hopefully I will be in better writing shape yet this weekend.

Wish me luck.


Thursday, May 26, 2005

Good News and Stuff


Ok, I don't think I've posted this yet. We got a GOOD review from Mrs. Giggles!

Mrs. Giggles is a NOTORIOUSLY hard reviewer (to the point where a lot of folks are scared to get their stuff run by her) who very specifically DOESN'T want authors to provide her with books because she doesn't want them to think that they'll automatically get a great review. I like the concept of fairness in that -- but I hate the idea that some people actually think a good review would be a quid pro quo!

ANYWAY, she finally got hold of Hunter's Moon and she said WONDERFUL things about everything EXCEPT Sue. She HATED Sue with a wild and fiery passion! (I believe the comments included something about shoving the character face first into a wood chipper -- LAUGH). We've always known that Sue would be hated. She's so realistically weak. People always know someone just like her who drives them NUTS.

As a result of that brutally honest great review sales are back up. AND she wants to review the sequel -- Moon's Web. WHOO HOOO!!!! (Cie is doing the happy dance!)

Tonight I'm going to work on an article giving a sneak peak at Moon's Web for the LKH Newsletter and re-reading Web so that I can (a) do a good job on the article, and (b) Make sure that Catherine "fits" with the time line because the times overlap. I'm getting ready to go forward on Catherine again and I want to make sure I don't screw it up! (Darned illness that just WONT go away has been keeping me from getting things done, but I THINK it's almost over!)

Saturday we're having lunch with the woman who won the gift basket and ARC of Moon's Web, but other than that, my holiday weekend is blissfully free to RELAX, GET HEALTHY, WRITE and Work on My Goals!!!!!!

That's right folks, IT'S GOAL TIME AGAIN! See, periodically I put all my goals in writing with a plan how to get to them and how long it should take, etc. Sometimes they change, but mostly I have to update them when (BLARING TRUMPETS AND DRUM ROLL) I'm actually achieving them fast enough to need an update. (WHOOO HOOO!!)

SO, goal time is a GOOD time.

Gotta run!


Tuesday, May 24, 2005


OK, I've been musing on something very important. I've only touched the edges of it, and I need to really think about it. I think more clearly when I write things down. BUT this is not a "fun" post, and it's not necessarily going to reflect nicely on me, so you might want to skip it.

There needs to be a balance in life between instant and delayed gratification.

Sort of Dharma v. Greg if you want to go with a television analogy.

Instant gratification is immediate. You will be instantly happy. But if you go from one immediately happy to another it tends to stay on the surface. You're happy but not content or fulfilled. Sort of an "is that all there is?" Because MOST of the truly big things people aspire for take a time commitment and a certain amount of delayed gratification. Say I want to lose 10, 20, 30 pounds. It's not going to happen overnight. If I consistently go for the instant gratification of the chocolate bar I won't be getting the long-term satisfaction of losing the weight and looking the way I want. If you want to go on a big vacation, you probably have to go for delayed gratification and save up the money by *not* buying the magazines, books, or DVD's etc. Because every time you do, you set back your timetable.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND if all you do is delayed gratification, you are frequently fulfilled but not HAPPY. Sometimes you forget HOW to relax and actually enjoy that vacation, and you wonder -- was it really worth it? I suffered HOW much for THIS?

You need balance. And that, my friends, is hard. I have tended WAY too much for the delayed and made myself unhappy. I know many, MANY others who have strayed too much to the immediate and are unfulfilled.

The reason this has come up is that I have been working toward this author thing for YEARS. I've wanted it since I was four years old. I've worked for it -- sometimes having to put it aside when there were other responsibilities, sometimes having to do it at 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning or not do it at all (Sleep? We don' need no stinkin' sleep! [Think that may have something to do with my current sleep disorder?]). So when it looks like something might be getting in the way and delaying me some more, or somebody gets all snarky and "well if YOU can do it, I certainly should be able to." (Yes, people have actually said that to me. Yes, more than one.) But they don't think THEY should have to wait or "DO THAT" hard work or sacrifice. I get HURT and I get ANGRY. (Insert she-hulk -- "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.") I feel like a little kid. "NO BUTTING IN LINE. IT's MY TURN!!!"
Childish, but very true.

I have classic "GREG." But I don't WANT to be the guy who worked his ass off until retirement and then was too unhealthy and worn out to take any of the trips or do any of the things he'd worked all his life to be financially able to do.

Life isn't fair. If they told you it is, they LIED. To quote a friend of mine "It's only slightly fairer than the alternative." But it's good. And it's MEANT to be good.

I want to SEE the fruits of my labor. I want to share the fruits of my labor. I want to actually figure out how to relax and have fun alternating with the work. I want to help people who truly want to make it help themselves.

But you can't MAKE people help themselves. You can't MAKE someone not want to sleep in more than to exercise and control their diabetes. It's their choice and their consequences. You're insulting their intelligence and tromping on their free will by trying to force your view on them. But DAMN it's hard to watch someone making a mistake KNOWING they're about to hurt themselves.

I've made mistakes. (We all do.) I've hurt myself and need to make some corrections. It sucks. Partly because I've hurt myself and that's never fun. Partly because my mistakes will be impacting other people (some negatively) which sucks even more. I can take action now to fix it, (delayed gratification) or I can just let it go and see if it all works out(much easier/instant gratification). Good or bad, it's my choice.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Almost Forgot

Cathy did a brilliant job on a media page! You might want to take a peek.

And thanks again Figarou for the DVD. You ROCK!

Yippie ki yi yay.

Hi guys! Jim, haven't heard much from you. Hope you are happy and well and just busy. Hope you had a great trip. Sounded like it.

I have good news: (DRUM ROLL PLEASE)


Cathy did a MARVELOUS job, we worked out the final chapter so it isn't anticlimactic, and towards the end of the book more of Kate's original character shines through so I felt she was less ordinary, which makes me happy. I'm SOOOOOOO Glad because BOY did this book fight me/us -- every single step of the way. But it's a good book -- even if I do say so myself. The romance is now more present and real instead of an afterthought.

MORE GOOD NEWS -- We actually WON a couple of awards. For those of you who have been paying attention, we've mostly been competing against the same books in every contest and almost always coming in Second. Terrifically flattering but also a little, shall we say, FRUSTRATING.

We have high hopes for Moon's Web. Coming out in August, which is faster than I would've thought. Time is ZOOMING by.

Finally shaking the last of the flu. Still don't feel GREAT but at least I'm not depressed, sick and miserable and ferociously grumpy. I really feel even more sorry for everyone around me than I do for me when I'm sick. I do not go quietly into illness, which is why I try to stay the he** away from everybody (aside from contagion). If I don't I might find some of my friendships won't survive. I would say that normally I'm a relatively nice person. When I'm sick I'm just not normal.

I'm frustrated with my son. Karma at its finest. Enough said.

I'm getting ready for the RWA Conference in Reno. Originally I'd hoped to just switch over Cathy's registration, but they won't let us. Then I was hoping to get it done Friday, but there were glitches with my file at RWA (old e-mail address and can't find my password). SO, now I have to do it FIRST thing Monday and PRAY that they haven't already filled up. It's important we have a presence there, and that I present, because of Moon's Web. I just hope I don't wear myself out as much as I did at RT. RT was FUN, but I came back so worn out that I got sick. OY.

Well, gotta run. My GOAL (ambitious as it is) is to get 10 pages done on Cat every day. Because deadlines are approaching. Wish me luck!


Friday, May 20, 2005

Miscellaneous Thoughts

The world is infected with Star Wars. Not a bad infection actually. I haven't seen the Clone Wars movie, so I will not be Revenge of the Sith-ing until I get my butt to the video store. And since I watched Episode I on video with a raging fever (if I recall correctly, which I may not)I should probably review that one too - although the chances of being able to get a copy of either at the video store any time soon are probably zilch.

Why does this come up? Because I read a friend's blog and he was complaining about not writing and observing how one little idea spawned this whole huge industry and he wished he'd be able to mine an idea like that out of his own head, but he keeps stalling out. In the end, he quoted Ani, about preferring to just shut up and do. I, myself, am an old school kinda' gal. My (possible mis)quote from the series is a Yoda'ism. "There is no try. There is only do, or NOT do."

I'm feeling better today. Fever seems to be permanently gone this time (keeping toes crossed, fingers are for typing), chest is less tight. Ears are still plugged, but they are always the last to clear.

This, of course, means that I can, actually (DRUM ROLL HERE) do the Kate edits.

Ah, the Kate edits. Cathy and I have been discussing this a lot. I've been very frustrated with this book, and with myself because it needed so VERY much work. I feel like I should be able to put out a better initial product. This, of course, feeds into my insecurities about Cathy being a better writer and not needing my input, etc. etc. (I am not insecure. OK maybe a LITTLE... No? ALL RIGHT THEN, I'm a freaking basket case some of the time! ARE YOU HAPPY?!!!) [grin]. Seriously, I do fret. The good news is that the editor loves the character, world, and plot. So now that we're in the final stretch of fixing the things she DIDN'T love, we should be OK. I just need to get cracking on it.

Also, I need to pull "Old Bessie" out of the closet and hook her back up to pull off some old files for Catherine and/or some short stories that I have the weird feeling I'm going to need. (Don't ask me why. I just get these feelings sometimes.) One of them is a traditional vampire story/horror piece called "Those Who Won't Be Missed." Needs editing because my sub/un made the lead character look exactly like Katie. But it's a good solid story. If there's no anthology out there that wants one, she may just get put up on the website for visitors. Or not. I don't know. Have to wait and see.

In the meantime, I need to get back to work. I hope everybody is enjoying themselves and life is good. I'm still doing the mom thing and worrying about my son (he's adult, he's capable, but he's MY son, so I worry). Anyway he has a birthday coming up, so he's on my mind a lot. (Then again, he's always on my mind anyway). I love him. I miss him. I want him to be happy.

Well, gotta run.


Thursday, May 19, 2005

Stuff in General

I hate the flu. I suppose I should be grateful that I don't have bronchitis or pneumonia agani, but the flu is bad enough thank you very much. Makes me feel so damned helpless and useless. I'm not getting anything done and time just keeps marching forward! UGH!

Cathy got me the version of Kate to go through. It's quite good I think. Of course, I can't truly appreciate it when I'm completely drugged out on flu medicine. Still, I'm very hopeful for it. I do think we need more of a sense of who she is right off the bat though. Through all the middle versions that got watered down a bit. She also changed a lot -- but that was absolutely necessary. See, the original story was straight action. No romance at all. Thus, it was OK to have her be a loner with difficult relationships and only one or two really strong friendships. She had a very "prickly" personality besides being strong. But while that makes for a very interesting action character, makes a love story impossible. So Katie softened up a little. Not a bad thing, but a change nonetheless. Truthfully, I've noticed in romance (don't shoot me guys, I'm just reporting what I've read of the competition -- which are bestsellers) that they SAY they want a "kick butt" heroine, but when the time comes, they definitely want her to be LESS kick butt than her hero. Its our traditional culturalization coming through. I could go on (and on and on) about the dichotomy, but I think it all boils down to the fact that most romance readers are women and we have been socialized that while it's important to be strong we're not supposed to SHOW it and in most places (although this is changing) we are definitely NOT supposed to outshine our men. Which, by the way, sucketh big pond scum covered rocks if you're really ambitious because if you're successful you're going to be shoved into trying to find someone even MORE successful when actually you might do better with a nice, supportive, house husband type.

Still, I don't see romance readers buying a book about the house husband. These are, after all, a form of fantasy, and theres nothing fantasy inducing about cleaning the toilets and scrubbing the floors.

OK, this post is going off in very weird directions. Blame it on the meds.



Tuesday, May 17, 2005


I'm sick. Caught some sort of cold/fluey thing. This is not good. SO, I'm taking heavy-duty decongestants, resting, LOTS of vitamin C, and hoping for the best. Can't take off work, so I'm liable to be spreading the crud. I suspect whatever I write in my current drugged state is going to be somewhat surreal, but I'm going to try to write anyway. I don't want to lose my momentum.

Still, anything I say today will sound grumpy and miserable on the blog, so I'll just sign off now.

Hope ya'll are doing better than I am. Take care.


Sunday, May 15, 2005

I've been thinking

(Always dangerous, that).

One of the things I've been thinking about is ambition. I've noticed that most of the women I know (Cathy and I are notable exceptions) don't ever admit to wanting to succeed for themselves. It's as though it's OK to "do it for your children" or "for your husband" or "to take care of your aging parents" but it isn't ok to be driven to succeed for yourself. Too "selfish" I suppose.

Well, guess what. I want to succeed. For me. Yes, I will absolutely help James, and my aging parents, (I don't have a spouse so that ones a non-issue) and give to good charities, but mostly, I want it because I WANT IT.

OK moving on.

I'm working on Catherine again. It's rolling along. Sometimes it's a little intimidating how MUCH there is to do. It's not going to be a small book. But Cat was the very first Sazi book that came into my head. The entire Sazi world was built for her. I want to do her justice. I may or may not succeed. But I'm definitely going to give it my best shot!

In order to make it a Christmas themed book I'm going to have to get "Christmasy" (I've mentioned this before, I know). So I'm going to pick up a copy of "Love Actually" on video or DVD. I really like that movie. Although some of it is quite sad, mostly it's very upbeat. The writing is, in my opnion, very good in that the characters (a) act like real people (except for the stuff with Collin, which is just too silly, but fun); (b) actually stay in character. (POSSIBLE SPOILER WARNING)

The wife who feels betrayed doesn't just accept her husband's actions no questions asked; the sister doesn't "abandon" her disabled brother to get a life of her own because she emotionally CAN'T. The characters do funny things, stupid things, and very ordinary things. Which makes this a Christmasy movie I can actually stand. It has its flaws, but I still like it.

Computer is still running a bit slow. I defragged, which helped. I de-spywared (for the moment. I think I have to do a more thorough job because it keeps reinstalling itself). I had to completely uninstall my virus software and re-install it, but it now appears to be working fine. It's been a pain in the patootie! I really HATE computer viruses and problems. I will never understand why folks would want to do something that destructive to total strangers.

Anyway, computer problems just slow me down so much, and FRUSTRATE me! Ugh.

Well, gotta run. Life and writing await. Later.


Saturday, May 14, 2005


WHEW! Made it through the week! It was a rough one. By the time Friday afternoon rolled around my boss and I were both completely exhausted!

Cathy is wrapping up the edits to Touch of Evil, (a/k/a "Kate"). Apparently it's going to be considerably more "romantic" but remain an action/adventure at heart. Here's hoping I like the changes. I'm not really that romantic a gal. But the goal is to give the best book possible to the readers, and most of them wanted more "oomph" to it. I'll be going over it quickly for polishing and to check for consistency. It's always tricky after a major edit and there have been several for this book. Kate's a fighter, and she's fought us every step of the way.

I'm getting back to Cat. Since it's been so long I'm going to re-read what I've gotten down so far and the plot outline Cathy and I worked up. I've got my Christmas CD out and am hoping to really kick werewolf and were-jaguar butt! My deadline isn't for a while, but we have some other deadlines looming rapidly and it's just a good idea to be AHEAD of the curve instead of scurrying along behind it. Sometimes I feel like my life is summed up by the little guy with the broom on Rocky and Bullwinkle who sweeps up after the parade! (I think it's in the section on Fractured Fairy Tales).

Thus far 2007 is a blank slate. Nothing is contracted yet. BUT we are working on a couple of proposals for a couple of science fiction books. Very promising. Of course we're also hoping there will be demand (DEMAND I SAY) for more Sazi stories and another Kate. We want you to be as geared up and anxious to get our books as we are to get books from our favorite authors.

Speaking of favorites. Dead Beat is out by Jim Butcher. Great book. I love the whole Harry Dresden series. Wasn't as into The Codex Alera, but hey, you're not going to love everything by an author. (Except us. You are definitely supposed to love EVERYTHING we do... RIGHT?) I got completely caught up in the story as it rolled along. I would never have noticed the little inconsistencies that made it to print if people on the boards hadn't brought them up. Now I want to re-read it. But I gave James my copy, and the blasted thing has SOLD OUT it's first run. (WHOO HOO JIM!!!!) I'm going to call to see if my favorite bookstore still has a copy and have them hold it for me!

Also liked the newest Merry Gentry book by Laurell K. Hamilton. The time line is so packed that a lot of things didn't get resolved that were hinted in the previous books, they're still looming out there. But it had enough going for it that I didn't mind. I also think it was one of the better written books Laurell has done for a bit. Especially since the time line was so crunched.

Well, I've got to go. I need to get my day started. Most of this weekend is dedicated to REST, but there are some things that just need doing. So I'm off.

Everybody have a great weekend.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Good News

Good News!

We just got a review from Jill at RT for Moon's Web. WOW. VERY good, very flattering. I am SOOOOOOO happy. Thus far everybody likes Moon's Web better than they liked Hunter. Since Hunter was very well received, that makes us VERY happy and bodes well for the future books!

The next two Sazi books are going to be in 3rd person. Very different for us. Yes, we've written in third person before (and will again), but it's a slower process. I, personally, find that it's much easier to stay "on track" in first person. You ONLY have to worry about that person's point of view. What they see and what they know. So, if you have a compelling character that can maintain interest, you're set. But a lot of readers really don't LIKE first person. Third person gives you the privilege of other viewpoints and an overview. Both have their place, but I just find that I stay focused better with one POV, and that makes the whole proess easier and quicker.

Work is almost back to normal. Thank heavens! Unfortunately, every goof I've made for the past (almost) year since I got here all came to roost this week. UGH. I just keep telling myself that everybody makes mistakes, that none of them were irretrievable, and that I just need to work harder to see to it that it never happens again. But I HATE HATE HATE it.

James is doing OK. He's getting a little frustrated I think, but that could just be the fact that I had to call him in the early early morning (not his best time of day) because my schedule for today is fairly insane.

Writing is getting back on track. It's a little slow, but I've been having problems with exhaustion from having pushed my body too far for too long. Hard to be creative when you're having trouble forming a coherent sentence. Rest is definitely on the agenda for this weekend!

Well, gotta run!


Thursday, May 12, 2005

Condolences and Crazies

Hi Guys:

This is going to be a meandering, stream-of-consciousness post. You may want to ignore it.

You see, an acquaintance of mine just lost a relative. It was apparently a lingering death, which is always so very hard. Hard to do (no doubt, although I don't exactly have personal experience), but so very hard for people who love you to watch. There's that whole feeling of helplessness. And by the time they're free of the pain of the illness, it's hard sometimes to remember them as they were BEFORE, when they were really themselves.

When I was a teenager I lost one of my relatives to death. She'd been in a nursing home for a very long time, had suffered physically and mentally. She was SO ready to go. And while I knew I would miss her, I truly believe my religious convictions, and that she was going someplace better. And even if I was wrong, that there was nothing after, the suffering would be over. I made the mistake of putting that in a letter. The person I wrote to (and their relatives) fell off the map right after. Which leads me to the conclusion that I shocked and appalled them. Perhaps not, perhaps it was just coincidence. But I don't think so. Because while our culture frequently talks about an afterlife, and death is inevitable, we mostly cling to life with a desperate fear of the unknown. ("I want to go to heaven -- but not just now please.") But I still can't see my opinion as wrong. There are even cultures that celebrate death because the loved one has moved on to a better place.

A part of me wants to send a condolence letter to my acquaintance -- after making a donation to the requested charity on behalf of her relative. But I don't know her very well, and I'm shy about intruding. Too, I think she's gun shy because she is a public figure who has been subjected to threats to the point of needing personal security. To send and risk it being misconstrued... or not send and have the person not know I care?

It's sad. I wonder sometimes if this "disconnect" we have in our culture now has caused the phenomenon of stalkers - or if they always existed? We work so hard just to get by and get things, that our children are spending more time with the television and the day care then they are with each other. I remember going out to play. Just "out". No constant adult interference and supervision. We had to iron out our problems for ourselves, between ourselves. (I wasn't good at it -- but it taught almost everybody else I know seriously good negotiation skills). I mean, the parents were nearby, in the houses, listening for the sounds of a fight or disaster, but they weren't SUPERVISING constantly. Play wasn't organized for us with ready made rules, etc. We got to create it ourselves. Sometimes better, sometimes worse. I still have a great friend who was a best friend in the neighborhood. I've known her all my life. When I went to visit my folks I HAD to see her! I have another friend from school (and one from my work years as a teenager) who drove for two hours to come down and visit me while I was at the conference.

Why do I bring that up? Because with the kind of mobility our culture has, it's hard to maintain those kinds of "roots." A mixed blessing that. You can pull up and start over if you need to. (And sometimes you do. In a small town you will never outlive your foiables. People will remember you forever as "the kid who...." So if you have a "bad reputation" from misbehavior relocating may be the only chance you have of getting the life you want.) But you also lose that web of connectedness. People need to feel a part of something - anything. They need to feel close to SOMEONE. If they don't have that naturally, for whatever reason, they'll try to create it -- sometimes disastrously. Obsession is never pretty. Whether it's an obsessive relationship with a gf or bf, or obsessive "fandom", it's still obsessive, and (in my opinion) a sign of loss and loneliness. (And the need for SERIOUS therapy).

But the FEAR of obsession is almost equally ugly. Gone are the days when you could start to call someone you liked but you didn't have the nerve and hang up. Caller ID would have you pegged as a stalker. And really, the early stages of lust/romantic love could easily be mistaken for obsessive, crazy behavior. (Hell, they're not far off). The socially inept are not mostly not dangerous, but there's that truly frightening minority out there, so people feel they have to "play it safe." So often the lonely stay lonely because the fear is too much to work through, or they're mis-perceived.

Don't get me wrong -- evil exists. There are sexual predators, serial killers and the like. And real stalkers are TERRIFYING. They steal your life, who you are. It's horrible. You have to be careful. I understand. But I hate it. I HATE that there are enough "crazies" out there that we don't feel we can leave our children outside playing safely. I hate that the media is a double-edged sword - it can be used to help find missing children, but it also can sensationalize problems in such a way that they're blown out of proportion and we're left living in a constant state of anxiety.

Why do the horrible things get so much more press than the beautiful and good? Are we really that voyeuristic? I don't know. Maybe. If so, it makes me sad. Because we're teaching ourselves and our young, that the world is a scary and dangerous place without simultaneously showing them that it is a beautiful and wonderful place. Showing that evil exists and is powerful, without showing an equally (or more) powerful good. That makes me sad. Hope exists. Faith exists. Sometimes they get overshadowed by our fear. Sorry state of affairs that.

Well, I've meandered all over the place (warned you) and still don't know what I'm going to do. But time's run out for blogging this morning, so I'd best get ready for work. Hope everybody has a great day.


Wednesday, May 11, 2005

General Stuff

OK, still pooped beyond belief, BUT, got to talk to James last night. He's doing fine. I miss him. He misses me. But he's got his act together and is doing fine. This is good news for a worrywart mom.

Got the virus protection software loaded again, scanned the computer. Doing OK thus far. This means that as of tomorrow I should be able to get back to Raphael and Catherine. YIPPPEEEE!!!!! WHOOOOO HOOO!

I've missed writing SO MUCH. Everything I've been doing has been utterly necessary, but the writing is my joy, and I get tired and grumpy when I can't do it.

Other than that, nothing new to report. Work is getting closer to normal.

Everybody take care!


Monday, May 09, 2005


Monday glorious Monday -- NOT.

James arrived safe in Denver and is now working on getting a job, getting an apartment, and getting settled. I am working on getting my life organized so that I can get writing because deadlines are zooming up to me at an alarming rate.

I'm a LITTLE less exhausted than I was, but not by much. Work this morning was INSANE because it's Monday and a court date for the criminal docket as well as some of the civil cases.

ANYWAY, I'm just grateful that things are going as well as they are. I'm hopeful about the future. Nervous about James' situation, but he's a grown up. He can handle it. (Probably as well as I can if I would just relax about it. But I'm a mom. Moms do NOT relax when their children are involved.)

Conference was wonderful. Met lots of terrific people. Read some great books. Saw lots of good looking cover-model types who were running around in skin tight tee-shirts that said "Got Sex? We do!" Saw my folks, saw a couple of friends I hadn't seen in years. Got to ride on the train in a sleeper car (which was one of my 100 things I want to do before I die.). All in all, pretty wonderful. Worth the exhaustion.

Well, back to work. Busy day. Hope to write early tomorrow so I can actually TALK to you guys. But I do hope you'll post. Pretty please?


Saturday, May 07, 2005


Just re-read the blog. Weirdnesses abound. I see that there are links I didn't put in to words within it. (I'm not going to repeat which ones). Can't wait to fix the blasted computer.

Gotta run! Got a call from James, they're more than halfway there. Don must be driving like a wild man. :D



OK, to tell you how crazy it's been, I've only unpacked one of my two bags from RT (it had my underwear and my shampoo -- and James needed it for his trip this morning). Other than that I have accomplished next to nothing aside from work and getting James ready to go. Oh, and crying. I know James will be happier in Denver, but I'm seriously going to miss him. (And worry. Never mind he's a fully grown capable adult - he's my BABY. Irrational. Even a little insulting. But true. (And yet another case of karma turning around to bite me in the butt so that I'll be more understanding.)

I renewed my virus protection via snail mail instead of e-mail. I didn't want to put it on the credit card and decided to send a check. (Hey, I was going out of town for most of two weeks -- no problema, right. WRONGO.) It's still not back up and I appear to have a virus trying to make my life miserable. UGH!

Today I'm going to do really exciting stuff like clean house, do laundry, fix the screen door (done) and get my office in shape to start writing tomorrow. I'm hoping the activity (and my motivational CD's) will keep my mind off of fretting over things I can't do anything about (i.e., missing my kid who NEEDS to pursue his own dreams and an actual SOCIAL LIFE).

I realize most folks make fun of the motivation stuff. But it works for me. When I'm down, frustrated, whatever, the 30 day program helps get me on track. I've gone through it completely once, several years ago. (Picked up copies of the tapes at a garage sale). But I brush up on it with partial reviews frequently enough that I invested in the CDs for myself. (Got 'em used on E-bay from somebody who never opened past the first cd packet). I realize it is SO not for everybody. (People can blow through huge amounts of money with it like an addiction by going to expensive seminars and picking up master's programs and stuff that they really can't afford if they're not careful. But I also believe that a person should look carefully at what does and doesn't work for them. So I bought my CDs online; went to one seminar out of curiosity (It was a gift from a friend and former employer)(and made absolutely sure I wouldn't buy anything on impulse by leaving my purse, checkbook, and credit cards at home!)

Which I suppose says that I'm motivated -- but cheap. Tight as a drum. Scroogola. I, however, prefer to think of it as practical, thrifty, budget conscious, and a leftover from years of desperate financial straits when James was little and I was a single mother. It just sounds so much nicer. Words have power -- and I am a writer after all. (GRIN).

A couple of other things on the agenda for today are my thank you notes from conference. (We got taken to terrific meals by both our agent and our editor, breakfast by Laurell K. and Jonathan, received gifts, and such.) I want to acknowledge some of the folks I got to meet. (Although there were so blasted many of them it's a bit of a blur!) I also need to clean out my e-mails, send a thank you to Evelio who send me a wonderful DVD of the signing that I have NOT had the chance to watch, send my mother the hard-back copy of the book and the ARC for Moon's Web, pay bills.... (Crap, thinking about all of this is making me feel REALLY GUILTY about sitting here and posting.)

ANYWAY, I missed you guys. Hope you've had a great couple of weeks. But I really had better put in one of the CD's (either motivation or hair metal) and get my butt to work!

Have a great weekend.


Thursday, May 05, 2005

Five Quick Minutes

Hi guys!

I have five quick minutes before I have to get back to work. There's so little time and so much to say. ARGH!

We got the actual ARCs in on Moon's Web. Got the new cover picture. Orders are up based on the new cover. I'm really happy with it.

One of the things I have to do this weekend is get out my thank you notes for everything that went on at the conference. Had such a wonderful time and met such great people. But BOY am I exhausted!

Touch of Evil is moving along swimmingly. Cathy is hoping to get the changes made by the weekend, then I'll review it and send before Monday. They're starting to gear up for publicity for it already, which is seriously cool since it doesn't come out until March! (Originally it was supposed to come out in January, but the schedule changed). That marketing is excited about it is a very good thing.

The folks (mostly reviewers, but the occasional gift recipient) who've seen Moon's Web in advance are all giving us great reviews and saying they like it even better than Hunter. This is great news! Woo hoo! We want people to be excited about the world and all of the people in it, and they seem to be.

Read a fun book from one of the Tor authors (coming out this September) called "Revenge Gifts." It's really a hoot! It's the story of a woman who runs a website where people can give gifts that are revenge oriented, but subtle. Like really elegant boxers that have metal mesh hidden in the seams so that they set off the metal detectors at airports; "allergy" pillows that are made of hand made lace stuffed with things like cat hair, etc. What a hoot! Buy it when it comes out if you like lighthearted fun with a little dark edge of black humor to it.

Well, time's up. Back to work I go. Keep in touch guys!


Wednesday, May 04, 2005


Hi Guys!

Hope you're still occasionally stopping by. I was gone for a couple weeks at conferences and the like. Had the insanity because I was going to be off, the time off, and now the insanity trying to catch up BECAUSE I was off. ARGH.

Glad to hear that the mule made it Yolanda. You'll have to let me know how you like it. You too Jim. I'm anxious for feedback.

The new cover for Moon's Web is seriously cool. It should be up on the website in a day or two, when Cathy and I have recovered from the insanity of the trip.

James is headed out as of this weekend. I'm nervous (what can I say, he's a perfectly capable adult, but I'm a MOM). I'll miss him terribly, but it really is for the best. I should be able to write more too.

Conference was WONDERFUL. Our agent is spectacular, ditto our editor from Tor. Laurell K. Hamilton is SERIOUSLY cool as a person, as are Jonathan and Darla. Charles is cute -- probably married, but still cute. The male cover models that I met were seriously nice people. From what I understand, they had to put up with all kinds of sexist sh** that NOBODY, BUT NOBODY should have to deal with. Makes me mad it does! Yes, they're grown men who can take care of themselves, but STILL!

I'll write more when I'm not overwhelmed at work and falling-over exhausted. Write when you can.