Pondering.

OK, taking a minute to ponder here.

I like to think I'm logical, that there are reasons for the things I think and do. More and more lately, I'm beginning to see that assumption as so much... ahem... hooey. I'm emotionally driven and motivated. It's the emotional and visceral things that get to me. Which is why I absolutely couldn't explain WHY it was so important to me to get the website up right away. It WAS. Really. But I couldn't have explained it to save my life. Which led to one of those *damn isn't this awkward* silences, that fortunately segued (sp?) into one of those comfortable friend silences that basically accept that the other person (in this case me) is occasionally a royal doofus and a pain in the butt.

I need to listen to my motivation cds. I need to exercise to reduce stress. I need to write, no matter what the distractions -- because even if it's dreck, I feel better after. And while I need to regain control over various areas of my life that I had to step back from previously, I REALLY need not to be a bitch about it. And that's hard. Because when I get frustrated, or scared, or angry, I (like the Incredible Hulk) morph into "SHE HAG". (SH for short). (Sometimes I can SOOO relate to Bruce Banner.)

ANYWAY, I'm very grateful that the folks who like me (and in some cases even love me -- go figure) are capable of figuring out that "this too shall pass" (sometimes with an added "soon please. The sooner the better!") and managing not to be condescending about it. I promise I'm working on it. Really.

Cie