Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Aiming fior the future.

I was talking to a friend the other evening.  We were talking about past mistakes.  I told him one of the things I believe -- that you should only look back long enough to learn the lesson.  Otherwise, looking back at mistakes just makes you bitter.  It's done.  It's over.  You can't change it.  Learn from it and move on.

The future may not be promised.  We only KNOW we have the present.  Still, best to enjoy the present and USE the time to aim at the future you want.  You may not make it, but you have a better chance than if you didn't take aim and take the present actions to get you there.

Life is about change.  Right now the book industry is in a state of flux.  There are huge opportunities, and HUGE pitfalls for the unwary.  Fair enough.  I think it's always been that way--but there are different traps (Still think it is wise to go to Predators and Editors if you're starting out.)

I went to the TED site the other day (I go frequently.  I'm trying to feed my mind.).  There was a short speech on the hidden opportunities/benefits trauma can bring to your life.  I've had me some trauma.  I can say that, if you let it, it can teach you things about yourself and others that will stick with you for a lifetime.

Among the things it taught me -- what was important.  When I was stuck in bed, THE important thing to me was connecting with my son, really talking to him, passing on the lessons and values I've learned, getting to know each other in a way that wasn't as superficial as it had been because I was having to work too damned hard just to survive and pay the bills.  That period changed our relationship from one that had been difficult, to a strong, positive one that I value more deeply than I can say.

Another -- laughter matters.  A lot.  If you can laugh, the problems suddenly seem more manageable.  They might not actually BE more manageable, but you feel better, so you can deal with them, and the consequences, fall out and crap. If you can laugh with someone, you bond and you're more likely to have an ally to attack the problems with you.  Besides, it just feels good.  It was in one of those periods that my son and I came up with our family "motto."

Shit happens.  Bring a shovel.

Not elegant, but it works.

I have made past mistakes.  Some of them small.  Some were huge.  But they're the past.  I've learned.  I'm aiming at the future I want.  It's not going to be an easy path.  I know that.  But it's the future I want, so I'm taking the actions that I think will get me there.  If I've got the wrong "map" I'll check coordinates and aim again.  And I will try to enjoy the process. Because while aiming at the future is important--just in case I have one; enjoying the present and making the most of it is more so--just in case I don't.  

Be well, be happy.



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