Monday, January 26, 2009

Moving Right Along . . .

Hi Guys!

Time is moving FAST. I must be over the hill because I am definitely gaining momentum!

Anyway, edits to do, but I thought I'd stop by and thank everybody who has complimented us on the change in website. Still ironing out the glitches, but we're proud of it. And MEGACUDOS to Cathy who beat me to the punch making the edits.




Sunday, January 25, 2009

What do I call this?

Okay, what do I call this? I'm going to talk about a little bit of everything, and nothing. So I'm supposed to come up with a heading? Really. Jeez, and here I SUCK at titles.

First, it's Sunday. I'm mostly feeling OK. Yesterday I ran to the city so that I could pick up stuff for my esteemed co-author and give her time to write. I also started working on the galleys for Cold Moon Rising. I put together an e-mail to the esteemed agent with a proposal for a book that has been kicking around my head for a while as an individual project. It may wind up being a co-authored book, but it is wall-to-wall angst, which is not Cathy's favorite thing. I refer to it as my "Oprah" book. Now don't get me wrong, I think Ms. Winfrey is one of the most impressive people I've had the privilege to read about. She encourages people to do their best, supports charities, is up front, supports literacy. . . . and on and on. I mean, if nothing else, her ENERGY is phenomenal. But her taste in books runs to the angsty. Just does. So this particular fantasy novel is wall-to-wall angst and is thus, my Oprah book. Not that she'll ever want to read it. Hell, it may never get written or published. But that's what I call it. Because, if it ever does get written and published, it is the kind of thing she'd like.

And I'm very nervous about it too. Because while I am quite confident in my ability to write a pretty-damned-good paranormal, and I've learned (with difficulty I may add) to write a pretty-damned good paranormal ROMANCE (which is a whole 'nother creature), this is straight fantastic *literature* and that's a different animal entirely. But you can't win if you don't play. So I'm going to play -- AFTER I get finished with the back-to-back trilogy I'm writing this year.

BUT since the publishing schedule runs a couple years after the writing schedule, I'm trying to get it scheduled. (If that made sense, you're doing well.)

Worse yet, I'm not good at proposals. I'm much better at cranking out a book and THEN worrying about finding somebody to love it. But I want to try to improve that too.

So I did it. And it may or may not work.

Still, today is Sunday, so no worky for Cie. This is my day of rest -- sort of. Tomorrow I will finish the galleys and (hopefully) get to work on the website edits. But for this moment in time I will blog, pet the pussycat on hand (currently the Bacchus cat) do enough laundry that I won't have to go to work naked and enough housework that I can stand the place. Oh, and cook ahead for the week. Yeah, yeah, all of that sounds REAL restful. But what can I do? I mean, I've tried to talk the dog and the cats into picking up some of the slack, but they just don't seem inclined.

On another note (B# I think), I'm having a bit of a problem with self-destructive tendencies. No, not the suicidal kind, the screw up your life because you just can't DEAL with it any more kind. So you say and do stupid stupid stupid shit so that you will wind up being forced to change. Which is STUPID since I'm already trying to change things and I can't afford to screw up what's already in progress. I think part of what brought this on is anger and frustration over issues I can't discuss here.

Another part (that I can talk about) is that I'm frustrated. I found somebody I'd like to work with as my assistant BUT because he's there (as in Denver, my home-to-be if I can ever get my ass up there) and I'm HERE it's not working. Which means I'm probably going to lose a very good possible employee, [which sucketh scum covered pond rocks. YES there are other potential employees (in this economy DROVES of them) but I LIKE him. And I TRUST him. And I'm so not good at trust. I don't just have issues. I have a subscription --- with automatic renewal.]

Good news, Magic's Design is almost out. Buy it. Buy it now. The more people who get it the first week, the better our chances of hitting a list again. Which would be lovely. So please guys, BUY THE BOOK.

Also, the drive to the city gave me lots and lots of time to work on the three-books-back-to-back series in my head. Solved problems that had been bugging me. Got to hear the music that I connect to the characters, so that it's clear in my head again. YIPPEE! I'm so anxious to get writing. But edits first! Get them galleys out the door!

My brother-in-law is closing his business and moving on to the next stage of his life. I don't think he knows what it will be. Exciting and scary that. But he and Diane are two of the smartest, most hard-working and ambitious people I know. They are quite simply built for success on the grand scale (which was no doubt why his business WAS such a success). So while I will pray for them I'm not really worried.

Anyway, parents are fine. Haven't heard from my brother in a bit, but due to technological challenges that are all my fault it's hard for him to reach me. Fortunately, he knows I love him, and that I'm a dufus.

Well, I'm going to run. Keep me in your thoughts. Keep your fingers crossed. Oh, and in case you didn't get the message earlier -- BUY THE BOOK (LOL).


Monday, January 19, 2009


Hi Guys!

Back from a Monday at the day job.

I need to write. I need to work on the website. So many, many, things I need to do for writing and in real life. Unfortunately, I haven't got it in me at the moment. My head is just too full of . . . stuff. I can't seem to focus. Part of it is the remnants of allergy/asthma medication. Not good for clear headedness. Good for breathing (which is a habit I refuse to give up), but not good for clear-headedness.

Spent the weekend watching a marathon of the US version of Life on Mars. LOVED it. Oh, some of it was awkward enough that I cringed in embarassment -- but that meant that the actors did a good enough job to MAKE me cringe. Truly, though, my absolute favorite bit of acting was done by the guy who played his father in the episode where Sam finally has his birthday party. Seeing that transition from supposedly two-bit to seriously dangerous was impressive. Because he didn't overplay it. Small, tiny little changes in expression, tone of voice, gesture. Oh yeah. I bought it. And I felt bad because Sam had been fooled for all the right reasons. Brilliant acting on the part of the guy who played his dad. Also great work by the guy who played Sam, but his part was written more broadly, with less subtlety. And I, of course, am a sucker about good writing. Not that any of it was bad. That would be nit-picking. It was all great. Just that part hit me the most.

I also watched a bit of House. I have to admit, I got hooked on it while I was in Denver and they were having a "House" marathon. Oh to be so brilliant that you can get away with being an ass. I think I'm only saying that because I feel like I've had to compromise too much this past little bit. I would like to think I wouldn't/won't turn into a monumental ass. Or maybe I AM one and I just don't know. I do know that I'm not very good at dealing with people whose minds and attitudes appear to be set in concrete. And I can only slow down so far when dealing with people who don't understand. So maybe I am.

I dunno. I do know that I need to eat something that isn't all sugar. Between the meds I took and the chocolate I've indulged in my mind is buzzing, and not in a good way.



Saturday, January 17, 2009


Good Morning.

Ah, no one appears to have been in a bent frame of mind the other night besides me. Oh well.

Let's see. Edits are necessary to the website. Hope to make them today. The first page is up, but the rest of the whole thing is still under construction. Ugh.

Getting ready to try to build a MySpace ad today too. Nothing like lumping all of my tech challenges in one spot! LOL.

I've been puny all week, which means I'm behind on everything, and I have a bad case of the don' wanna's this morning.

I am, however, in a good mood. :)

On a much sadder note, one of my son's best friends killed himself last week - on his 27th birthday. I am so sad, and so sorry for those he left behind. I understand debilitating depression, but it is a great sorrow when someone decides that they can't go on. I pray for his soul, and hope that he has found the peace he didn't manage to find here.

I know there are those who feel that suicides are damned. I hope not. Such hopelessness and pain doesn't deserve more pain to follow, and so much of depression is linked to biological problems. I believe that God (or Goddess depending on your religion) is kinder, gentler, and more understanding than that.

I don't know what to say, not to my son, or anyone else. Life is hard. Losing someone you care about is incredibly difficult, particularly when it is abrupt, unexpected, and unfathomable.

Unfortunately, on that particularly sad note I'm going to have to sign off.

Be well, be happy, be kind.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Stuff and Nonsense.

Hi! Don't have a lot to say. So I'm going to blather.

I have an odd turn of mind. Often.

For example. I like Def Leppard. A lot. They have a song "Animal."
In the song it has lyrics that go "And I want," (echo) "And I need" (echo) "And I love" (echo) "ANIMAL."

My mind switches in the middle of that song to a close up of a bright red Muppet playing the drums and shouting his name.


And of course the lovely Mrs. Robinson, for whom "heaven holds a place for those who pray. Hey, hey, hey. . . " At which point I picture Fat Albert for the second "HEY HEY HEY."


But my son had them both beat nicely. After the inimitable "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he said "Choo." (before the "Oh baby, pretty baby . . .")


Does your mind ever do that kind of odd cloning?

Come up with a couple here in my comments. I could use a good laugh.


Sunday, January 11, 2009

Good Morning

Good Morning!

There is absolutely no logical reason for me to be in a fantabulous mood. But I am. And I'm going to roll with it while I can. Actually, that's not quite true. There is a reason. I hadn't been writing. Yesterday I not only wrote, I wrote well and for a long stretch.

Writing is a part of who I am. My identity. And when I don't get to do it I go a little wonky. I get depressed, and GRUMPY. (Not that you would've noticed that from my previous posts. NAH, couldln't be. LOL)

ANYWAY, I wrote, I'm feeling better. Presto. Magic.

Today is Sunday and I have house stuff to do. But I'm getting up early tomorrow morning and will see if I can get the re-write to page 200. That's the goal. It's quite a few pages, but re-writs generally go faster for me than the original. And I'll have all day today to think about what I want to do.

In the meantime, everybody be well and happy. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as far as the move stuff goes.



Saturday, January 10, 2009


WOOT!! I got to page 179 on the re-write of the first book of the new series. This is great. Wonderful good news. I'm back into it. I can hear the character again. :)

Oh, there's lots more work. But there's time to do it. And I'm very, VERY happy.

Celebrated this evening by watching "Stranger than Fiction." It is a very cool and fun movie for a writer, and quite good. Great cast. But it's a bit of an odd duck, so it didn't get a lot of attention when it came out. Anyway, it's one of my favorites.

I have used a whopping 6 tissues today. Which, compared to yesterday (with more than a full box getting used because of wicked allergies and an asthma attack) is pretty remarkable. My nose no longer looks like Rudolf. My eyes don't look as though I've been on a three-day crying jag. Really cool.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Everyone have a wonderful evening.



Ahhh . . . CHOOO

Hi Guys!

I'm back and in a much better mood today. Of course, after the last post I'd just about have to be!

Anyway, yesterday I didn't post because I got hit bad with allergies.


I have asthma. I have allergies and sensitivity to chemicals. Sometimes you can't even smell the chemical, but if it's there, I'm sick. Cleaning products in particular, some perfume bases, lotion bases, that sort of thing. Hell sometimes even perfumes I LIKE make me sick enough that I wind up needing an inhaler and hoping I don't wind up in the ER getting a breathing treatment.

So yesterday I walk into work and WHAM, it hits me like a wrecking ball in the doorway. I'm digging in my purse for the inhaler while my eyes are running and my nose is dripping and I'm gasping for air. UGH! Wound up using the last of my inhaler, and calling for an emergency refill -- RUNNING to the store for tissues (I went through an ENTIRE box in 1 day. No kidding.) and antihistimines/decongestants.

When I got home it dried up within an hour and I was breathing close to normally. So today my nose is red, my eyes are red, and I'm breathing just a little rough, but by tomorrow I should be fine. Just in time to go back to work on Monday. UGH.

I hate this. I really hate this. People who do not have this problem honestly don't get it. Nothing I can say or do will change them. I just have to avoid the situation when I can and take the medicine when I can't. I just keep chanting SOON, SOON. SOON I will be moving to Denver and writing full time for a while and it won't be an issue. SOON.

(END OF RANT)***********************

Anyway, I'm home and I'm feeling better and am in a better mood. I'm getting some house stuff done and writing stuff done. I kind of blew the budget with the unexpected meds and stuff, but we should be getting the on-pub check soon, so it'll be fine. I just need to be patient. Yeah, RIGHT, like that's my BEST thing. LOL

I'm signed up for the RT convention. I'm excited to go. Orlando should be fun. Writing is going well, slowly, but well. Cathy has approved the website, now I just need to get the FTP software, and figure out how to use it again (it's been a few years). I figure I'll get it online by the 1st. I hope. No promises though. If it isn't compatible we'll be at square one. (I don't even want to think about that.)

ANYWAY, I'm off to turn up the tunes and get some more work done. Everybody be happy and be safe.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Morning Off

Hi Guys! I took the morning off from the day job because I needed some time. For a couple of reasons.

First, I'm not feeling well. And I knew that this morning would probably be worse (never mind how. I'm being discreet. I just did.), so I decided to stay home.

I also had some things I needed to do.

But most importantly, yesterday afternoon I caught myself for the second or third time doing something that I find completely unacceptable.

I'm turning into someone I don't like at all, just to fit in. I don't mean to, but I'm catching myself doing it. Being that bitchy gossip girl that I always hated. That's not me. I don't WANT that to be me.

Once upon a time, when I was young (yeah, a REALLY long time ago) I didn't give a glorious #@$*@# about what people thought. I did what I wanted and was who I was. And I was thus THOROUGHLY ostracized, criticized, and marginalized for it. So I moved. (There were other reasons, but that was a big part of it.) To the city. Where I could be who I was and really, seriously, it didn't matter much. In fact, compared to a lot of folks I was just seriously boring. SERIOUSLY boring.

Then about 5 years ago I moved to a small town again. I am not young. I am not "cute". People are not going to excuse me for oddities because of the two previous sentences. (And yes, like it or not, pretty people get cut quite a bit of slack in our society.) And this small town does, in fact, have small town attitudes. And I need to work in the town. So I adjusted a bit to try to fit in. And then I adjusted a bit more.

And now I find myself being who I don't like. Having lost my way. On the good side, I've gotten back in touch with my religion. On the bad side, I'm turning into a shallow bitch.

I've said repeatedly how I want to go "home." I feel like a heel. There are nice people here. Really there are. But I'm not turning out to be one of them. And while I should have control of that, I don't.

When did I start worrying, CARING about what other people thought to the point of letting it change who I was. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

I know it's my fault. I'm just confused as hell about it. Where's the courageous kid I used to be?


I'm changing subjects now. Mainly because I don't have an answer, and I probably shouldn't be discussing this on a very public blog anyway.

But my resolution is to find a solution where I can be me and not screw up making a living at the day job until we get the contract money and I move. Maybe by duct taping my mouth shut?


Good news, I had NOT totally pissed off the person I thought I had. She's just had a frantically busy life. I'm glad.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Thanks for Commenting Guys

Thanks for commenting guys! I'm really glad to hear from you. It means I can actually feel like I'm talking TO somebody.

Let's see . . . I took tomorrow morning off so that I can do all of the stuff that accumulates that can only be done during "regular business hours" which are, of course, the hours I work as well. Ugh. And also because I need a bit. I just do. Doesn't make sense. I mean we just had holidays. But there you go. Who said I have to make sense.

Cathy has gotten her comments back to me on the website. SO one of the things I'm going to try to do tomorrow is get the new site up and see if it will actually work. OY. I haven't tried anything like this in ages and ages, and the tech has probably changed. So it should be . . . um, challenging.

Signed up to go to RT in Orlando. Woo hoo! Hope y'all can come. We are (see previous posts) up for some seriously cool awards. I'm not doing my actual flight arrangements yet though because I don't know if I'll be in Denver yet or not. (JEEZ I certainly HOPE so!)

Anyway, I hope you are all well and happy. I'm going to go fix myself dinner and then come back and work on the book again.

Be good. Be happy.


Monday, January 05, 2009

Music and Writing

Usually I write in silence. The lyrics to music usually are just too distracting when I'm trying to type. I suppose it's too many years of having typed dictation. My head keeps thinking I should be typing what my ears are hearing.

BUT, that said, some books just REQUIRE a soundtrack. Some of them just have music that gets you into the mood and head of the character. I've found that the heroine of the new series in particular gets coaxed into my head with certain music. Since I need to get into her head and get back to work I currently have Evanescence blasting from the speakers.

There are other songs that seem to be working with this (not all attributed, because I've only heard them on radio and gotten them in my head and don't know which brilliant artists came up with them. But it is what it is and it's helping me.

On another note, I've had a nice conversation with David, my new assistant-to-be. It seems we're on the same page. He's a very cool person, and I like and trust him, which is not something I do easily.

Anyway, we're working through the kinks of getting his employment set up.

But NOW, I'm in the mood to write. So I shall adjourn and do so.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Better Day Today

Today's a better day. I spent a good part of yesterday chilling with a good friend, and it helped my attitude. Today I'm doing my Sunday thing which is to say, nothing. Day of rest and prayer and all that. I need it badly once a week.

I'm going to go ahead and post the following. I thought about not, because it's kind of personal. But I'm going to do it after all.

The good news of the day is that I've been having book thoughts and ideas again. Enough that I'm having trouble keeping up with them.


See, when the health goes totally to pot, I can't think clearly. In my regular life this generally means I screw up my checkbook, forget simple things (like to turn off the tub until it's ready to overflow), and other equally fun stuff. (There are also some worse symptoms. But I'm not going into them now.)

In my writing life it means that I can only sit still for a little while to type without stiffening up and I can't come up with an original idea to save my life. That I am having ideas again means that I caught it in time and I'm coming back out of the trough and that I won't be bottoming out like I did before. I'm VERY glad.

With regard to the website, Cathy's tweaking. I'll let you know when it gets posted.
With regard to the deal with Tor, we've got it negotiated, now we're waiting for paperwork. But it's a VERY good deal for us and we are extremely happy about it.

The first book of the new series is on the burner, and I'm plugging away at it. Cathy, meanwhile is working on another Sazi.

Our next release is GASP (CRAP WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE!) NEXT MONTH! It's called Magic's Design. Buy the book. Really. Totally unique world. Lotsa fun. For those of you who like romance, it's romantic. But for those of you who are action or fantasy buffs, I think it will make you happy too.

In August the next Sazi book comes out. Tony 1st person POV with Ahmad featured. Now come on, can you actually resist that?

If you subscribe to (or can buy) Romantic Times Book Review we have a greeting in the February issue, along with an Ad we designed specifically for it. AND we are in the nominees. Still can't get over how massively cool THAT is.

Still haven't heard back from the person I e-mailed. Hope it's just that she hasn't been on-line. But you never know.

Take care of yourselves. I'm off to pre-cook a bunch of meals and freeze them in individual sized containers so that I can just pop things in the microwave and not have to do the whole stove or oven thing any more than is absolutely necessary. But before I can do that, I have to go get milk. I forgot it earlier. Oops. (Okay, so I'm better. I'm not perfect.)


Saturday, January 03, 2009

Frustration and General Stuff

Welcome to the new year.

See, I HAVE been being better about blogging. Of course if nobody stops by, does it really matter?

I am having a frustration day. We all get them. It's not anything huge. Just the little crap that should be a ten minute thing that turns into an hour-and-a-half, and still didn't get it done the way you wanted to thing.

Good news, I did hear from Jim. YEA!!! His life was a little . . . awkward . . . for a while too. I can understand that.

Frustrating thing number 1: My health is being a pain in the patoot. Not BAD, okay, I've been MUCH worse, but I'm having memory problems, and I feel like somebody beat the crap out of me. No fun that.

2: I'm still stuck in limbo with regard to some of the major life changes I'm trying to make. Everything is on hold pending the actions of others.

3: The water system in the town in which I live is . . . well, let's just say that I won't drink it, and some days (like yesterday) I don't even want to bathe in it. I mean, tap water properly treated does not come out of the tap piss yellow. It just doesn't. I don't even want to give that to the dog and cats.

4: I think I pissed off someone I like. I hope not, and I'm going to write them about it in an e-mail. But if I did there's not a damned thing I can do about it. And it sucks.

The fact of the matter is, I am quite socially awkward. There are worse. (Or so I've been told). But I AM. There is a reason I live mostly in my interior world.

But I care about this person, so I have to bite the bullet and risk MORE social awkwardness. Oh freaking goodie.

Ah well, enough whining. Life is mostly very good. I am grateful for almost everything in my life. And EVERYTHING will look better after I eat breakfast, have my caffeine and take something OTC for the pain.

Everybody have a great day.