Monday, June 05, 2006

Midlife (Optimistically) Crisis

Later that same day...

OK folks. Sleep deprivation is BAD. It wreaks havoc with the body, the mind and the (drum roll) mood. Now that I got a little rest, I'm actually feeling more like myself. YES, I do have some decisions to make. No, things are not nearly as dark as they seemed. In fact, they're pretty damned good! Just thought I'd better pop by and say so!

Later.

Cie

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Hi guys!

Progress is being made. Today I need to do a serious chunk though because it's still too short. Sigh.

I have been taking time to sit down and decide what in the heck is the matter with me. I'm tired, and that's part of it. But there is definitely more to it than that. Once again, I've been finding myself becoming unhappy because I forgot to integrate parts of myself into my life. You know, "All work and no play make Cie a dull girl." And I am. Hell, I've been boring myself! Time is flying, the books are going well, but there's this piece of me that is very unhappy. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the career. But I need to figure out my personal life. I stand here at a crossroads, amazed at what I have accomplished, but see most of my life as a compromise, not a creation. It was absolutely my choice to get here, but compromise really doesn't bring uninhibited joy. I need to finish this book, get some rest, and then see what I WANT to do. This is probably all a product of exhaustion and boredom.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hear what you'e saying, but it sounds like you're having lots of fun too. My advice is to plan a few fun things ahead (like a one week vacation to a place you get excited about) and plan about 4 upcoming day things (like a concert, food festival, fun convention, night out at a fun restaurant, movie night, get theater tickets for an event, check out a museum or check a new place that raises your interest).
Jim

Shawn said...

I agree with Jim Cie. You work hard, so you should play hard! You deserve it! Big hugs and I hope you do something fun and frivolous for yourself soon. Your books bring so many people happiness so I can't help but want you guys to be happy too!

Y said...

Hey Cie!

How you doing? Sorry I didn't pop by sooner, just started writing a new novel this week. I'm very excited but totally wrapped up in the characters and story. Y'know how it is!

Anyway, hope you're doing okay. I know what you mean, and make sure that you do allocate plenty of CIE time, okay? You need and deserve it.

As for the question you asked me a few posts back, I got word back from Tor. I got the thumbs down. Not really surprised, it was a longshot after all. Going into the slush pile hardly ever brings good results. But I'm not giving up, that's for darn sure.

:D

How you guys doing - Jim and Shawn?