Friday, December 18, 2009

Today

Okay, today I am feeling ambivalent. LOTS of things going on in my life. Tumultuous. Some good. Some not so good.

Today I took a pair of kitten/cats (adolescents) to the vet for the very first time. They were ferals that I had saved from starving and tamed to the point where they trust me, and allow me to pet them and show my deep affection for them. They went to the vet to make sure they were healthy for a woman who may choose to adopt them. Or not. She will see them tomorrow and make that determination.

I love them. I already am maxed out on animals, so I truly can't take them in. The indoor cats wouldn't tolerate it either. They've been acting out just having these guys come up on the porch. I know it is in the cats's best interest to have them be adopted out. I do. But I love them. And it tears me up to have caged them in the carriers, taken them to the vet and left them. I may very well never see them again. And it breaks my heart. Even though I know it's the right thing to do. And at the same time I worry that she won't want them, or they won't act tame enough, that maybe they'll only respond to me (which sometimes happens with formerly ferals. I have a couple of my indoor cats that just don't like other humans. They love me. They snuggle with me. But nobody else. Ever. Got it!). So I'm worried that they won't be adopted and loved, and sad that they might be, which is a seriously no-win situation.

But I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. I did tell the vet's assistants that if she doesn't want them, I'll take them back, that I'll figure something else out for them. But I hope she does want them. Except then I'll never see them again.

Gotta go or I'm gonna blubber.

Cie

2 comments:

Shawn said...

You did do the right thing, Cie. You gave those kittens a chance, and hopefully they'll grow into happy adult cats because of you.

Tammy said...

((HUG)) ::handing over box of tissues:::

You did do the right thing Cie, my first cat was a feral kitten. I found him outside n April Fools Day - April 1. ::grin:: he was just a little handful then, but he'd scared the outside dog out of his coop and was inside sleeping on the dogs bed. It took awhile for him to trust me, but once he did, he tolerated the other animals (dogs) and humans but me, he'd cuddle with, and demand to be petted, etc. I stil miss him, he died 2 years agao at age 18. Now I"ve gotta go or I"ll be needing those tissues back.