Friday, July 17, 2009

Health, Writing, Hope, Frustration


Okay, early morning. I slept okay, which helps. I have the day off, and probably 3x as much to do as is humanly possible. I'm also not feeling all that great--haven't been for a while. It's nothing huge, but one of those chronic things that makes you drag ass around and be spacy and unfocused, which makes it harder to get things done. I'm also depressed, which doesn't help matters any.

Depressed? Why? Because (a) Chronic health stuff always gets me down. It's not horrible. I have it better than a lot of folks, but it gets to me. Water wears away stone; (b) I'm in a place I don't want to be; (c) the book is fighting me hard, and the deadline is approaching; (d) I'm behind on home stuff, and I hate living in a dirty house, but I REALLY can't spend a lot of time on it until I get the book done; and (e) like everyone else in this economy, the $$ just goes too damned fast. Again, I have it better than most, and I don't mean to complain, but it wears on me. So I'm going to take a little time and sit down and be grateful for the good things, which should drive away the gloom for a bit.

1) I have people and animals I love and who love me.
2) I have a really terrific family--my son James is somebody to be proud of, my parents and siblings are cool, and I have lots of other relatives who I love dearly and who love me right back (and me left back and me front and back. LOL)
3) I have friends. Good friends, that stick by me even when I'm having those wonderful (NOT) hormonal mood swings. (OOO BABY);
4) I have food, shelter, a running vehicle, a job, and OH YEAH, that little WRITING CAREER thing.
5) I can see, hear, taste, touch, I have all of my senses and while it may not be perfect, and I do not look like Catherine Zeta Jones, my body functions pretty well for the most part
6) I have the means to create things. Which is just, seriously cool. I mean, things appear in my head. People come to my imagination, and I can write it down so that other people can interact and enjoy them. Seriously, how COOL.
7) I can read, which helps me to enjoy other people's words as well. Literacy is so important.
8) I have a pretty wonderful future lined up to look forward to.
9) A book coming out on the shelves in August. I remember when having A book come out EVER was a miracle, a dream, something I didn't believe could possibly happen. Now we have our own SHELF in some stores.
10) I have my faith. This should probably go first actually. But I have my faith. And when I'm feeling like crap and forgetting all the things I have to be grateful for, it pulls me through and gives me the strength and endurance to keep going. AMEN.

See, now I am feeling better. If the TODO list doesn't all get done today, okay. I'll hit the highlights.

Wish me good luck.


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