Friday, November 06, 2009

Back in the Saddle Again

Okay, I've been sick, and pooped, and I am so far behind on EVERYTHING that it is truly terrifying. There are edits that HAVE to get done and the animals are being VERY needy because I've been ill and not able to fuss over them like I normally do. Lucky the Wonder Dog, in particular, needs lots of love, attention and EXERCISE. She's been getting the first two, but not the third, so she is RESTLESS. UGH.

I've been feeling like crap: physically, mentally and emotionally. Sometimes the best you can do is just keep moving forward. (Quote of the day -- If you're going through hell, KEEP GOING.) But I wonder sometimes if I should just play Pollyanna in public -- Everything is FINE, wonderful, etc.? I mean nobody really wants to hear me whine. They have their own problems, many of which are MUCH worse than mine. Also, one of my goals is to help people and encourage them. How encouraging can I be when I'm moping? Seriously.

But I try to be honest. And I don't care who you are, or how many wonderful things there are going on in your life, there are always going to be some not-so-wonderful things and times that get you down.

So the truth? I guess so.

1) Weight loss? Don't make me laugh. You would think with the food poisoning that the weight would've come off and stayed off. Came off abruptly, but not for long. Still, I'm finally feeling well enough that I did my walking this morning.

2) Depression -- still there.

3) Writing -- Lots of wonderful things happening here, but as is the case with the publishing industry they are happening . . . . s . . . l . . . o . . . w . . . l . . . y. Patience is not my best thing, so this is just a teeny bit frustrating. (And yes, I have been nominated for Queen of Understatement. How did you guess?)

4) Move to Denver -- Stalled. I have been trying to find employment at a day job. (All right, here's a bit of truth. The writing pays pretty darn well, but the checks come too far apart and I have to take out my own taxes as self employment and don't have health insurance or retirement. A good day job can take care of this. It also gives me the opportunity to run into people. Interacting with others gives me ideas and helps me with things like dialogue and rhythms.). In this economy at my age it is a little bit tricky. I haven't given up. But I haven't made progress either, which is depressing, distressing, and lots of other essings.

5) Finding a good job. See previous.

6) Catching up on all of the crapola like mailing things, working up the newsletter, etc. Stalled.

Not exactly a passing scorecard. But today is a new day. I'm here. I'm posting. I'm listening to kick-ass music and getting the animals snugged, exercised, etc., the house clean and the edits done. And maybe, if I do I'll be able to be less hard on myself and be just a little less down. Because while I know I'm not perfect, I really do expect myself to be.

Now, how are the rest of you? Be honest. If I have to own up to all this crap you should too. Fair's fair.


Tammy said...

Glad to see you again Cie!

Sorry to hear about Denver :-(

As for the rest, try not to stress out about things, granted that's hard. The animals are great stress relievers I've found - lol - even though they add their own stress to things.

In my little corner of the world, still waiting to hear about disability, BUT the legs are slowly starting to heal again which I consider a bonus. Other than that nothing new here.

Dolly said...

Was getting a bit worried about you. Yes, I'm a worryer. Didn't want to bother you while you were taking stock. Really sorry about Denver. We all know how much you want to be there. projects are stalled too. Had some family issues to deal with and I tend to obsess (sp). Worry wart that's me and when I'm worrying, I just the things I NEED to do, to get by.

Hang in there girl. Glad you're able to talk to us again.

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