Saturday, August 08, 2009

Stupid, Stupid and Stubborn

Okay, I have a chronic fatiguing illness. And thyroid problems that feed into it (and vice versa). Stress is not kind to me. So I KNOW better than to push myself. I had already been having symptoms. Getting angry the other day didn't help. (It was useful, but not helpful if that makes any sense). Seeing that someone had stolen my metal glider (antiquish lawn furniture) last night did not help. And then, rather than taking it easy. I decide to drive out of town and look for the book in all the various stores, run errands, and generally work my ass off in 100+ degree heat in a non-air conditioned vehicle.

Now I am so exhausted I can barely move my arms, my tongue isn't working right (I sound drunk when I'm like this). My body is giving out, but my mind is still rushing.

Shit.

I'm going to lay down with a good book. Hopefully I'll get enough rest tonight and tomorrow to be okay, and that I didn't push my self so much to far that it takes longer. Stupid illness.

Stupid me for being so damned stubborn about ignoring it.

G'night.

3 comments:

Dolly said...

Hi...hope you're relaxing and taking care of yourself. Chronic illnesses just suck. I tell myself the same thing then I feel guilty because there's alot of stuff I think I should do that I can't. The only thing that keeps me sane sometimes is to realize there are people worse off than me. Puts in perspective for a while but doesn't help all the time. Tare care and give herself a break.

C. T. Adams said...

Thanks.

Yeah, so many people have it SO MUCH worse. My problems are manageable---when I don't do something stupid. (OOPS.)

Resting today. Tomorrow will be better.

Thanks again.

Cie

VampireGurl said...

Well im a bit late but im glad to hear you're resting.I hope you continue on your road to mending