When In Doubt - Punt

I know how to make up stories. I know how to write them down. I'm good at that. I'm getting better at it too. It's amazing what working with good editors can do. (Although the whole LOVE/HATE relationship some of them have with serial commas is a bit confusing for me. Book Editor 1 - LOVED, Book Editor 2 - Mild dislike, Book Editor 3 - hate with all sorts of other views from short story editors along the way.)

ANYWAY, it was my dream to be a multi-published author, and I'm getting to live it. Most of the time it's wonderful. But like any job, there are going to be things you don't like. THAT is just part of the game.

I have goals. I'm working toward them. This is important. Because if you don't grow, you stagnate and die.

I have strong opinions. I don't usually say them out loud because they frequently disagree with the opinions of people I respect and I'm not a big fan of confrontation. And I respect the people I disagree with. They may be right. I could be wrong. That doesn't keep me from having my opinions. And since most of the things we disagree on are things that you can't prove one way or the other, what's the point of arguing?

(Although honestly, I know people who like to argue just to argue. They say it's "stimulating." Bully for them. I don't like it. And if they pull that sort of thing on me we wind up having a very serious discussion. Basically saying that if they continue to bait me, it'll be the last discussion.) I realize that may make me sound like a hard ass. But I seriously do not like confrontation. Note, I said I don't like it. I didn't say I wasn't good at it. But it's like using a bazooka to kill a gnat. And that makes me look like an ass in public. Which is embarrassing.

Another big problem - expectations. Everybody has them. They have them of themselves, and they have them for everybody else. Bosses pay you. They have an expectation that you'll (1) show up; (2) on time every time; and (3) produce product. They also expect you to do what you're told. This is why they give you money. You take the money you agree to that and you should probably expect to (1) show up; (2) on time every time; and (3) politely work. I have, however, previously worked in retail with folks who want the money, but have no expectation of doing the work, and are highly offended at the thought they should have to. Their expectations, mine, and their employers were very different. Note that most of them were very rapidly fired---because they didn't meet their employer's expectations.

I am not meeting my own expectations. This sucketh. I cannot fire myself. I simply have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again. And forgive myself if I can.