Friday, February 18, 2005

Friday/You may want to skip this one after para. 1

Hi Guys! Jim, I left you a comment yesterday. I don't know why, but the comments seem a little more private than the actual blog, so you might want to pick it up. Again, I'm sorry.

It's Friday again. Amazing. Time is a blur. Every day is so busy that I look up and suddenly the whole week is gone. I'm not getting nearly as much done as I've been wanting to, but I'm doing the best I can. Sometimes that's all you get.

I was reading a thread yesterday in a group that I used to belong to but no longer participate in. In fact, it had gotten so VERY negative that I usually delete the e-mails without reading them. See, aggressively nasty people really p'o me. I know that there are people out there who just LOVE stirring up trouble. I don't personally choose to "hang" with them, either physically or online. Particularly if you can't reason with them.

ANYWAY, I decided to look and see if it had gotten any better. It hadn't. A couple of people are actively drooling at the prospect of going to a conference I'll be attending in St. Louis -- primarily to "show" the famous author that they got into a big flame war with. ARGH! That is so petty and so high school. (Which, by the way, is one big reason I graduated early. I couldn't STAND that kind of crap).

Cathy teases me sometimes that there are things about people I just don't understand. I ask her about them and she says she'll add it to the list of things "you'll never really get." It's a long list, folks. I'm not an innocent. I know a lot of things exist. I just don't understand how people get to such a negative place, or why they'd choose to stay there.

For example: When I was a teenager I DESPERATELY wanted a Camaro. It was the car of my dreams. When my best friend got one first, I really honestly wasn't jealous or pissed. There were a lot of Camaros in the world. Attagirl for her. I was waiting for mine. Never doubted it would happen. Just a matter of time and circumstance. When I got mine and it was exactly what I wanted nearly everybody TRIED to be happy for me, but they were catty and po'd. I didn't get it. If they want one (of whatever) - get one. Same with when I was dating the guy of my dreams (still love him after all these years, but in a different way. It was doomed, but it was the Romeo and Juliet tragic kind of doomed. I know now that long term, that's just a hard way to live). They didn't even particularly like him. They certainly didn't want him. But the fact that I had gotten exactly what I wanted drove them NUTS. I understand the concepts of envy and jealousy, its the practical aspects that confuse me. I mean I wanted it, I worked for it, I got it. Shouldn't that be encouraging? To me it says, if you want it, and are willing to work for it, you can get it too. (We're talking the car here, not the relationships. They're a whole different ball of wax.)

Another thing I don't get is "settling." If you really want something, it's the thing you want. Why settle for something you *don't* want because it's easier or cheaper? It's not what you want. It won't make you happy. You'll always be bugged, every time you look at it.

I'm not sure where this was going other than I believe people are entitled to be happy. I also FIRMLY BELIEVE that if you want someTHING enough to work hard and consistently for it, you can get it. Note that I said something and not someBODY. There's that whole free will thing going on. They get to choose too. Besides, too many people base their happiness on someBODY they think they have to have. Somebody important (don't have time to look for the quote book at the moment said approximately) "If you can't be happy alone, you're in bad company." Amen to that!

Ah well, rambled all over the place as usual.

Anyway, have a great weekend. Jim, hang in there! (assuming you read past the first para ;) And hang in there even if you didn't and never read this.)


Anonymous said...

Hi Cie,
Yes, I just read the post you put in the other blog, and it means a lot to me, it was very sweet of you to have written all that. The death of my Friend was extremely unexpected, when I talked to him when he was in the hospital, we talked about plans for things we were going to be doing and even after his surgery when I called him from Louisiana, I talked to him about how he should go to Mardi Gras with me next year. The second to last day of my trip, one of our other mutual Friends called and gave me the bad news, she said she wanted me to hear it from her (my family already knew, but my Dad said he wanted to tell me after I got back home). I called my Dad right after I found out and then called another friend of ours to tell him too. Yes, it's still a shock. My Dad is still in the hospital and in a lot of pain, but hopefully he will be sent back home on Sunday, I am going to visit him tomorrow, i will tell him you sent well wishes, my whole family knows who you are, my Sister read your book in fact. as for me, I am still sick, but feeling a bit better today, my ears are starting to unclog, yea! Yes, Cie, I consider you a Friend too! By the way, I hear you on everything you posted in this forum. My philosophy is the good people you want to have around you in life, and they are those that will act nice, respectful, be uplifting when you need it, behonest, be empathetic and such. There are people like that, those are the kind of people I want to have around me all the time. Other people who seem to have numerous petty problems (like jealousy, dishonesty, bashing people and such) should be honest with themselves about who they are and what their real problems are, and then they should try to improve themselves to make themselves better and this world a better and nicer place to live in for everyone else. I'm one of those people that will tell someone what I think when the opportunity presents itself, and the good people stay, and the bad people leave, and because that happens, I always come out ahead, because I am always surrounded by nice people, nice odds, huh? I live in the now, I learn from the past, but I let it go, too much is happening everyday to stay in the past for long on bad things. I hear you on relationships, some people do place way too much focus on finding someone, I don't know why people have to find someone else to make them feel complete, but I am sure it has a lot to do with their own insecurities, I think people should work on themselves first before they work on a relationship if they are dead set on being with someone and finding someone and are compulsive about it, because it shows that they aren't comfortable with b eing by themself, and they should be, but them there are people who have addictive personalities too, but that's another story.
Happy weekend Cie!

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